being an empath

Often confused with having “empathy”, which is being able to relate to another person and their emotions, actually being an Empath is a whole different dimension full of amazing potential... However, if we are not aware of our empathic nature, we may often feel "out of control", overwhelmed and consequently find ourselves stressed, depressed and retreating from life. Until we become more conscious and aware of our empathic nature, we may also find ourselves being "controlled" by those around us and consequently in unhealthy relationships, which can be draining and even traumatizing. However, the "good news" about being an empath is that when we do become consciously aware of it, we may develop this side of ourselves into a sort of "superpower" and discover a deep inner strength - we may become empowered and can then help others in profound and meaningful ways.

If you feel you frequently “take on” other peoples emotions or have a hard time separating what you feel from those around you, are easily overwhelmed, dislike crowds and at the same time find that you frequently “just know” things that are true about people, or even receive insights about life that you have no “logical” explanation for, you may find yourself identifying as an Empath.

Signs of an Empath include but are not limited to:

• easily identifying with and even experiencing another's feelings,
• extra sensitive nervous system,
• crying when others cry,
• easily and often overwhelmed,
• often experience social anxiety, especially in groups,
• have an aversion to crowds,
• have an aversion to violent & melodramatic entertainment,
• other peoples’ emotions affect you in a noticeable way,
• you may cry easily - even at commercials or certain music,
• have an aversion to the news - it is painful for you to watch,
• social gatherings can leave you feeling drained & exhausted,
• you may find that you overthink everything,
• you often put other people's needs before your own,
• you may worry about what other people think of you,
• you may find others are drawn to you like a magnet and easily share their feelings with you,
• you may lack healthy boundaries,
• you may carry a lot of unconscious guilt,
• you may suffer bouts of depression, but can’t necessarily identify a “cause”,
• you may experience anxiety - especially in groups of people or even just at the thought of some people,
• feel very drained after social interactions, including work,
• you may have adopted unhealthy coping mechanisms to “numb out” what you feel,
• enjoy time alone and being in nature.

You May Also Find That You:

• are a great listener,
• just "know" certain things and sometimes can't explain why,
• may find you have "logically" unexplainable feelings that something is going to happen,
• you can sense when something is "not right",
• you can sense when someone is being dishonest (you are a human lie detector),
• your intuition is strong and will receive intuitive insights that you can't always "logically" explain,
• you treat your pets like humans and they are members of your family,
• you prefer deep conversations to small talk,
• people come to you for advice frequently,
• others may see you as a "dreamer" or an "idealist",
• you are a natural healer.

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Most of us who are empaths were not raised to understand the nature of our being. We were often called "overly-sensitive" in a negative way so that we end up shying away from our natural gift and hide from social situations or "people-please" in order to feel a sense of approval and assuage a deep sense of self-doubt. Many of us will experience a "dark night of the soul" early on in life and have more than one throughout our lives as we learn to grow into our power.

Because we naturally pick up on what everyone around us is feeling, we may have been labeled as "moody" by our family members. Others do not always understand that until we, ourselves, understand and embody our natural gift, we unknowingly sense, take on and feel everyone's emotions around us and often wonder why we suddenly feel agitated, anxious or sad as well. Until we learn how to protect ourselves and create healthy boundaries, we will feel happy when those around us are happy and sad when they are sad. We may venture out into the world one morning feeling great and return home absolutely drained and grumpy even though nothing apparently "went wrong". The great challenge of course of any empath is easily absorbing negative energy from those we encounter and carrying it "as our own". As this accumulates over years, it can lead to mis-diagnosed depression, because we may believe it to be our own, and often suffer complete and total exhaustion.

It took me years and complete personal burn-out to learn how much of other peoples' energy I was taking on. I have stood or sat in a corner all night at countless parties because the energy of the room was simply overwhelming and too much for me to take on. I have also been in more than one relationship where my partner's consistent state of stress and distress resulted in a constant state of anxiety within me. It can be very challenging to separate and clarify which feelings belong to you and which don't, but I have learned many techniques, some of which I share further on in this article, that have given me the strength to build energetic boundaries necessary to living a life true to my own divine nature and purpose.

Because we are so sensitive, when we take on negative energies, we may also feel guilty for how we are feeling and compound the negative energy by adding shame onto sadness, frustration or anger. Energy has to go somewhere and this kind of compounding effect is debilitating over a lifetime, often resulting in self-doubt, weight gain, dis-ease, struggling to fulfill our dreams, as well as unhealthy relationships and partnerships. We may continuously find ways to over compensate instead of taking the alone time we so desperately need to align and connect with our soul. As the research of Dr David R. Hawkins (and countless others) has shown, when we carry a lot of negative energy it can and very often will manifest in illness and disease.

The body is subject to what we hold in mind; therefore, when we don't understand what we're feeling or why we are feeling it, our thoughts spiral in a negative direction. Sometimes we don't want to hear that “negativity causes illness and disease” because we don't want to be labelled as a "negative person" - we don't even see ourselves that way because deep down we know it isn't true! But, if we don't truly know ourselves, or what being an empath means, we are easily programmed and subject to a collective consciousness primarily focused on duality, illusion, fear, judgement and materialism for its structure.

When we take on other people's insecurities and feelings and don't know we are doing it, chances are we are often holding subconscious guilt for how we feel and express ourselves, but it is nothing to be ashamed of - it is simply a learning curve. In fact, once we learn to accept and embody our natural gift as an empath, we may quickly find a tremendous amount of relief and insight into our lives. It is not uncommon to quickly lose energetic and physical weight, for symptoms of dis-ease to clear rapidly or completely heal, and for people to feel empowered and spiritually transformed as a more fully realized and soul-embodied person.

The challenge for any empath is learning how to create discernment between our own feelings and someone else's, as well as how to create healthy boundaries throughout our relationships. It took me decades to learn how to say "no thank you" to a social invitation when I truly had no desire to partake. I exhausted myself for years by over-scheduling myself and doing things I really didn't want to be doing. Because I didn't yet innerstand my own nature, I would partake in every event. However, I would "have to" drink to dull my senses and quell my social anxiety. This was for the most part entirely unconscious behaviour as outwardly I told myself how much fun I was having, but the truth was that it was simply too overwhelming for me to be in a room full of different energies and "feel it all" when I didn't yet know how to manage this intuitive power.

Overwhelmed and anxious, I drank more than I should have and often woke up the next day feeling horrible. This cycle continued for me until completely exhausted and drained, my adrenals began to fail and I could not get out of bed. I finally had to give into my truth which was that I would rather stay home anyway, be with my kids, read a book, be in nature or hang out with one or two good friends with whom I could relax and have meaningful conversation.

If you resonate with any or all of this, you may be having all kinds of flashbacks and lightbulb moments as you read this, and may now be wondering how you can tap into your superpower as an empath.

The first step is the awareness you are coming to now - that yes, you are a sensitive being and it is not a negative thing. Human beings are multi-dimensional creatures with complicated emotions and easily programmable minds; however, we are not taught this growing up. We are simply taught to think a certain way and most of us spend the majority of our lives comparing ourselves to others and trying to find a sense of "normality" as the idealized state of modern society. However, when the lights come on and we realize that being well-adjusted to a sick and toxic society is not, in fact, a sign of health, we may finally choose to stop suppressing our true nature and step into our light.

The foundation for any empath is to know and accept our sensitivity to energy. Eventually you will realize that your are definitely not alone and that perhaps it is in fact divine human nature to be "tuned in" ~ we all have many more senses than the five we learned about in school and that for thousands upon thousands of years before the most recent times, this was common knowledge.

Humans are Multi-Sensory Beings

Modern mainstream society teaches us only about the five physical senses - sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. However, traditionally and still within many cultures beyond Western society today, the extra-sensory abilities (or Clair Senses) are well known and practised.

1. Clairvoyance - to see energy, often associated with the third eye and the ability to see auras, spirits.
2. Clairaudience - to hear energy, receive auditory messages, hear Spirit voices inaudible to the wider world.
3. Clairsentiance - to feel and sense energy, predominant in Empaths.
4. Clairalience - to smell clearly as messages received - often as in the case of a deceased loved one's perfume or to smell smoke when there is no one in the physical realm is smoking nearby.
5. Claircognizance - to simply know, receive messages as "knowing" without logical explanation, also predominant in Empaths.

"Clair" translates as "clear", therefore to clearly see, feel or know something is to receive information that is unclouded by the ego's prejudices, beliefs and judgments. Very often one's Clairs are dismissed as "nonsensical" because we are not trained in how to use these senses and allow the programmed mind to block the message, but I believe we are all capable of cultivating these senses. Empaths, however, don't have the choice to feel or not to feel for it seems that we are born this way.. Therefore, it becomes vital to learn how to manage and work with these amazing senses.

There is great power in knowing yourself, and within this authentic source of power, there is great joy.

Ways to Embody Your Power as an Empath:

1. Protect Yourself - create energy grids of light around you and your space daily by envisioning a divine gold and white bubble of light around your entire being. Most auras extend 6-10ft around our physical body and some are much bigger; therefore, envision this divine bubble of light surrounding you at all times and especially when going into public place, work spaces and large groups or gatherings.
2. Protect Your Space - using the same technique as above, envision and set divine gold and white bubbles of light around your home, your car, your office and any space where you spend time. You may also ground this grid into the Earth and the Sun by envisioning a chord of light leading down into the core of the Earth and another chord leading up into Source and the central Sun.
3. The Glass Wall - if you find yourself in the company of someone whose energy is firing off in multiple directions, projecting, volatile, depressive, or simply spilling out and affecting your state, you may use the "glass wall" technique. As you are, envision a large glass wall between yourself and the other person. This wall still allows you to see and hear everything the person is saying but prevents their energy from transferring into your field - the energy is reflected back toward the person projecting and cannot get through to attach to you. This is very powerful and I have personally experienced an instant shift in the person I am sitting with after placing a glass wall between us. As I am no longer sitting there like a "sponge" for all their energy, it must return to the other person and they will often shift gears immediately and either leave or realize just how much they have been attempting to dump on me and apologize. This is also very helpful if you are a counsellor, psychologist or supporting others through deeply emotional and transformative processes. This technique is compounded in its effect by use with the light bubble.
4. Send Healing Energy - if you find yourself with someone who needs support but the answer is not for you to take on what they need to release, you may send them healing energy by envisioning a bubble of light around their aura and body. This bubble may be golden, but also may be green for healing or purple for cleansing and the burning off of the negative energy that is lowering their vibration and state. Combine with a quick silent prayer within that for the highest good of all, they find peace and healing and you may continue to listen and support as they process whatever it is they need to release and heal.
5. Nature Time - finding time to be in nature is essential. Empaths are so sensitive that even with the best of intentions and practises, we still collect energies along the way throughout our daily interactions with the world, which includes social media. Nature is neutral and healing, and will help balance and cleanse any toxic energies and those which do not belong to us. The more time we spend outdoors surrounded by the beauty of nature, breathing the fresh air - clear of human thought patterns and emotion, the more clear we become and therefore able to discern what belongs to us and what we picked up, as "psychic pollution" along the way.
6. Meditate - spend time observing your thoughts and practise letting them go. - like watching clouds pass in the sky, the majority of thoughts we think are on repeat and not even "our own". Meditation makes us more self-aware and self-knowledgeable; it shifts and resets our energy to a higher frequency and over time elevates our state of mind to a place where negative energies and thoughts cannot attach.
7. Let Go - the art of surrender and letting go is extremely helpful when you are an empath. Actively practise not attaching to outcomes so that you are better able to stay in the flow, allowing for greater synchronicity and divine guidance to lead the way.
8. Release Opinion - often what engages us in other people's energy is having an opinion about everything, which is really the ego's game and desire "to be right". The more clear and open we become, the more we can see that opinions are collectives of energy and thought whose purpose is to engage the ego in a dualistic perspective of life. We learn to be like water, flowing through life where nothing can attach to us and we are free. The spirit of water is within all of us and it shows us how to flow with grace and beauty. No matter how "right" we think we are about something, we cannot really change another person's mind - all we can do is hold space for them to evolve, grow and change when they are ready. You will find that by letting go of having an opinion in conversation about life, politics, a person's choices, actually frees a ton of mental and emotional energy that can be redirected into creating the kind of life you truly want to express and experience. We learn to let things be and therefore free ourselves from the drain of caring about what others think. We make the choices that we feel serve us and those around us in the highest, and allow others to do the same.
9. Listen to your Intuition - read more about intuition in this article.
10. Detox your body & mind to help you gain greater clarity and strength. Explore working with medicinal, adaptogenic herbs, such as Ashwaghanda and medicinal mushrooms, such as Reishi that can greatly enhance your clair senses and help you deal with stress.

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Embodying Your Power

The truth about being an Empath is that you are a highly sensory being who is naturally Spiritually and energetically attuned to your environment. As an Empath you feel things before you know them and, you will know things before being told about them.. For example, you are a human lie detector and your body will give off signals when someone is lying to you, hiding something or being deceitful in some way - the "trick" and the challenge of course is, are you familiar with and listening to the signals? Your intuition is your best friend.

When you spend time being more observant of how you are feeling, rather than identifying with the feelings as they arise, you will begin to see and know what particular sensations are trying to tell you. The body is always communicating with you - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Your "spidey senses" are excellent, but chances are you have doubted yourself and dismissed your intuitions for most of your life; therefore, it takes some time to become familiar with your gift.

Practise observing yourself in social settings, in public and with different friends and family members. You may notice anxiety arising every time you are around a specific person. You may notice that after hanging out with another particular person you always feel exhausted or depressed. With time and self-observation, you may begin to see patterns in your behaviour that are triggered by certain people and/or certain social settings.

Many Empaths become frustrated and "spacey" with their own lives and may have trouble focusing on their own endeavours. This is often the result of overwhelm from taking on others' emotions. However, we discover with time spent observing the effect of other people in our lives, that it does not have to be this way. Giving ourselves more time to be alone, setting healthy boundaries and spending regular time in nature does wonders to ease the pressure and bring balance and joy back into our lives.

When we find that healthy balance we are then able to tune into what we are sensing with greater clarity and turn our highly sensitive nature into a true super power. Empaths are natural healers. Some even say that we came to Earth for the specific purpose of helping others and the Earth to heal, which is why we were given the ability to know what others are feeling.

Empaths can understand others on a deep and true level. When we are clear and in our power, there is no bullshitting us. We often know the words someone is about to speak and can finish others' sentences. We can easily tell when someone is upset even if they are trying to hide it - this can also be frustrating because there are times when we will know exactly why the person in front of us is suffering for reasons that they are unwilling to see or yet able to understand.

Empaths generally have very open minds and our consciousness is capable of expanding at rapid rates the more we open up to our true nature. Most of humanity however, chooses to accept a very narrow and limited perspective of reality and, because they are not attuned feeling and sensing energies, they are therefore less open to expanding their perspectives of reality.

I personally know several people who are suffering excruciating physical pain and, even though they have "tried everything", when I mention energy healing or natural medicine to them as a possible treatment and cure, they roll their eyes and quickly dismiss the possibility that these ancient healing methods could work wonders for them. They are living in such a small world, identified with the physical because that's what they can "see", convinced that they are their body and space is "empty", sometimes it can feel sad and even frustrating, but over time we realize that opening someone's mind to see beyond what they think they know is not something we can actually do for them. You cannot make someone see something they are not ready to see. Everyone's consciousness must expand on its own and at lower levels of consciousness, people literally cannot hear or comprehend what you are saying. All we can do is plant seeds and allow the Divine to water them until they sprout and grow - eventually, and usually after they've suffered so much that they are forced to give up their blind beliefs if they want to survive, they do return with questions and a curiosity to know more.

In order for our awakenings to be embodied and authentic, we realize that we all have to come to our own realizations in our own way. I believe that is why many Empaths have such a tough time early in life because if you're going to step into your true power as an Empath and help others heal, you have to know and embody great compassion - first for yourself and then, for others. You have to be able to allow others the dignity of their own journey toward awakening and release judgment because in some way, somehow you have been there where your suffering was the result of not knowing who you are in truth.

The Empath’s journey is a challenging but beautiful one. Blessed are the ones being born now whose parents are aware of their own sensitivities and can help their children understand what it means to be a supernatural, multidimensional human being. Blessed are those of us who have had to face the dark nights, unhealthy relationships, narcissistic partners and toxic society, for each and every experience taught us and helped us embrace our true divine nature.

Being an Empath is a gift and doorway to great, authentic power, inner peace, true joy and Spiritual living!

If this article resonates with you, please share your experiences in the comments below! By sharing we all get brighter!!!

If you feel you could benefit from more support as you discover your powers as an Empath, check out my one-on-one Soul Sessions for spiritual guidance and soul alchemy coaching sessions.

Bless your journey... namasté